we feed Our Own Demons
by wir-sind-die-LOKI
Summary: After the events of New York, Tony can't sleep, so the Avengers decide that they should all take a team vacation, but things take a turn for the worst after an innocent game on the beach. No Pairings. T for flashbacks and Tony!Whump. Remember to R&R. Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the cover image.


_**We feed our own demons.**_

**So this is a little Iron man/avengers Fic I've been working on set between Avengers and Iron man 3. It would have been posted a while ago but I get distracted a lot… but anyway I hope you like it and any comments would be very well accepted because I'm trying to get the inspiration to actually write the bigger avengers plot I've got the outline of instead of these one shots I've been doing. **

When Tony walks to his kitchen to get a cup of coffee at 9 in the morning, he doesn't expect to have five superheroes kidnap him from his own home, and bundle him in a limo so that they are moving down the highway in less than a minute. He doesn't expect to be handed a cup of coffee made exactly the way he likes it. (Strong and bitter, with too much sugar to be considered at least a little bit healthy) he doesn't expect he text from Pepper and Jarvis telling him to have a good time and he really doesn't expect the beaming smiles on all of the avengers faces.

"Well, good morning to you all too…" Tony says dryly after a full minute of them just staring at him with the same ear-to-ear smiles on each of their faces, well except Natasha, who he can't see on account of her driving the limo.

When, after a unanimous chorus of "Hello." The whole team fell back into a comfortable silence. Tony felt it appropriate to try and get some answers from the suspicious group of heroes. "So, is there any reason as to why you're carting me off to some unknown place at way-too-early-in-the-morning-o'clock, or did you just think that it would be fun to go for a Saturday morning drive?" he said as he scrunched up the polystyrene cup to throw at Clint's head, when the super soldier to his right snatched the cup out of his raised hand with an amused scowl. At the same time Clint threw a bundle of papers onto Tony's lap, where he could see the words 'Operation Brazil' printed in bold at the top.

"Um, guys if we're going on a mission, I kinda need my suit if I'm gunna do more than just watch you guys fight." He said slightly bemused at the conspicuous title. As he look at the expectant faces of the rest of the team.

"Just read it Tony." Bruce said impatiently, before he was interrupted by a certain Norse god.

"We are forcing you to holiday with the rest of the team, friend Stark." Thor said loudly, his voice echoing around the small space as the god bounced around in his seat happily.

"Well done Thor." Said Clint dryly, turning around in his seat so he could join the conversation in the back of the limo. "And don't worry Tony, we're not complete imbeciles, we have packed your bags."

"I can't take time off, I mean, what about those meeting and stuff I have to attend for the company, or maybe, I don't know, keeping New York safe from a certain crazy brother of yours?" Tony said, jerking his head in the direction of Thor, as he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, already feeling that he was going to be losing this argument, if only for the fact that they had been driving for almost twenty minutes already.

"Are you talking about those meetings that you always don't attend, and the Loki, who is currently locked up in Asgard?" Natasha said from the front seat without turning around.

"Yes." Tony said weakly.

"Well, don't worry about New York, or anything, this holiday if for you to relax." Steve said reassuringly.

"Relax, I'm always relaxing! I mean, when don't I have a glass of something in my hand?" Tony said jokingly.

"Jarvis, when was the last time that Tony slept?" Natasha said coolly.

"It has been over 72 hours since Sir last slept." Jarvis answered from the speakers in Tony's phone.

"Traitor" Tony muttered.

"We're going on holiday Tony." Natasha said, silencing any arguments that Tony could have made, plunging the lino into a comfortable silence, which lasted all of a minute, before Tony had hacked his way into the car's system so that he could start playing ACDC as loudly as he could.

After and almost eight hour journey on a private jet, they finally arrived at hotel Exotica. It was a grand hotel, with three swimming pools, large rooms, and great food (not to mention all the free booze). It was also in a central location, with their rooms looking out onto the ocean through the giant curved windows that took up one whole wall of the room. If he stood right in the corner of the room he could just about see the soccer stadium behind the vast forest of trees and hills that made up the Brazilian countryside. Everyone had their own rooms, but, they we're all adjoining, on special request, from a certain sheepish looking archer. Throwing his stuff down on the bed, he went to look around in more detail. There was a giant walk closet, speakers in the wall and a balcony.

The kitchen and living room was all adjoining with the bedroom, with the only separate room being a fancy bathroom. The white tiles all screamed new along with the different brands of shampoo lining the wall. The mirror behind the sink was spotless, and it was as Tony was looking in the mirror, that he saw the bathtub. No shower. Just a bathtub. Quickly leaving the room Tony stuck his most genuine smirk on his face and strolled into Rogers's room.

"Hey Cap, how's the rooms suiting you?" Tony said as he fell into the armchair by the window.

"Oh, hi Tony, and the room's fine thanks, it's just, um nothing." Steve said, turning slightly away from Tony to fiddle with his bags.

"What is it Steve?" Tony said, clapping the larger man on the back before he walked over to a mirror to mess with his hair, saying. "Aww, come on, what can't you tell me?" Tony urged when the Captain hesitated for just a moment too long.

"It's just, I got a shower, not a bath and I don't really like showers." Steve admitted, going slightly pink.

"Well just switch with me Cap. I got a bath, and the rooms seem identical" Tony said, jumping on the bed.

"I wouldn't want to put you into any inconvenience…"

"If you hadn't already noticed, my middle name is inconvenience honey. Trust me, it's not a problem at all, and hey now we can play pranks on the others." Tony said chirpily.

"Yeah sure, that seems like less trouble than changing through the hotel, as long as you're fine with it." Steve said, picking up his numerous bags as if they weighed nothing.

The Captain hesitated at the door as if to say something else, but tony waved him off, saying. "Now go. I've gotta hack this hotel before Clint pulls us all to go do something or Jarvis is gunna be stuck in my phone till at least tomorrow."

Sure enough, twenty minutes later, Clint burst through the doors into Tony's room, throwing a brochure onto the bed before shouting. "Hotel entrance in five, get your ass into motion Stark." And running out of the room so no questions could be asked by the bewildered Tony.

Of course Tony was never one to do what he was told, so he was at the entrance of the hotel exactly 6 minutes after Clint had burst into his room. This meant that he missed the briefing of what they were going to do, and when Bruce asked if he had read the leaflet, his blank expression made Bruce roll his eyes. Of course the billionaire didn't have to wait too long, as soon they were walking down a crowded street. The more they walked the more people there were, they more flying flags and screaming fans, but for once, the fans weren't for them. It was soccer season, and this was one of the parades to celebrate the beginning of the first match that night. The friendly atmosphere swept the avengers off their feet, with even Natasha joining in with some of the chants and songs as the parade continued. Everyone was having a great time, until Tony had to open his big mouth. When the float for the Brazilian soccer team came out, he elbowed Steve on his right, muttering. "Ha, they think that's a soccer team! What are they, blind, deaf _and_ stupid?"

Turning around to look at Steve, his laugh died off as he saw that it wasn't Steve, but a burly Brazilian man, draped in his soccer team's colours, a furious expression on his face. Looming over Tony, the man proceeded to shout insults at Tony in a heavy Portuguese accent, throwing threats in between the insults almost as much as he was spitting.

Tony had never taken threats that seriously, but it wasn't going to end well if he didn't get out of there fast, considering the other man was hammered enough to think that staring a fight in the middle of such a busy crowd was such a good idea. Looking around for the others, only dampened his spirits more, on account of then not being anywhere in his immediate sight. Glancing back he noticed that another man had begun shouting at him. People shouting at him had never really bothered the Tony before, especially not when they were in a place as crowded as this, so it was only when the man grabbed his shirt that he actually paid attention.

The man grabbed Tony so that he was barely able to stand up, before continuing to shout. Even then it was mostly the smell of booze; cigarette smoke and sweat that bothered Tony the most, making him crinkle his nose in disgust. The threats would have been more threatening if Tony thought that the man would actually be able to take him, but considering that he _was_ Iron Man, it was little more than an inconvenience, so he waited it out, slightly bothered by the amount of spittle flying from the other man's mouth as he spoke. When the man paused in his rant for a moment, Tony wiped the spit from his face before calmly saying. "You got a bit of a spit problem, you may want to get a doctor to look at that, you know in case it's a symptom of supporting your soccer team-"

Stumbling back slightly Tony wiped away the blood that was coming out of his nose, as the man began screaming again, this time grabbing his shoulders and shaking him roughly. The intoxicated man went for another punch, but Tony wasn't there anymore, he was standing to the left of the man, aiming a precise jab to the man's neck. Tony was gone before the now unconscious man even hit the floor.

Tony came back to himself approximately twenty minutes later. He was sat under a large palm tree, far enough away from the parade that the blaring music barley registered. He had done hardly any physical exercise, and none in the past ten minutes at least, yet his breaths came in quick, shallow gasps. Even without a mirror he knew his eyes would be fully dilated. He hadn't had a flashback like that in over three days, but then again, he hadn't slept in the last three days.

_Darkness. Pain. Screaming, so much screaming. Sometimes him, sometimes his captors. Almost always in a different language. Almost always followed by a painful beating. _

Forcing himself to concentrate he saw that the sun was setting quickly. Thinking in easy steps, he dragged himself to his feet, getting out Jarvis to tell his which way the hotel was. The directions were already on the screen.

"Nobody knows, and nobody needs to know." Tony practically growled.

"But sir-"

"Nobody _knows_"

"Of course Sir" Jarvis said, in disappointed sigh.

It turned out that he was very near the hotel they were staying at, and he arrived in less than five minutes, which was just as well really, since he had barley sat down in the chair by the window, when Thor burst into the room.

"Aye, there you are, Friend Anthony!" Thor said jovially as he threw the door open with a bang, making the billionaire clench the arms of the chair even tighter.

"We have been looking for you for almost an hour half, Friend Anthony." Thor boomed, without even waiting for a reply from Tony. "Did you get bored and head back?"

"Yea, that's what happened." Tony mumbled glancing back down at the starkpad in his lap.

"Well anyway Stark, we are all meeting in Friend Clinton's room for another live action motion picture." The god said glancing around the room's ceiling.

Tony tried to hide his smirk as Thor jumped upon the sound of Jarvis's welcome echoing around the room. "I'll be there in a sec Thor."

Trying to retain as much of his dignity as possible the god nodded his head jerkily before walking out of the room with a stiff hello to the ceiling.

Quickly changing out of his crumpled shirt the genius began to push his dark feelings away, already anticipating the cheesy movie that the archer would choose to put on, but when he got there, only a little bit late, they had already decided the movie; Sympathy For Mr Vengeance.

Tony had seen the movie before, probably, so instead of watching the movie properly he carried on working on the StarkPad, where he was designing a new ironman suit, well until it was wrenched from his hands half an hour from the end. "Aww, come Tony, it's not team bonding if you're working." Clint wined, making Tony roll his eyes in mock annoyance.

Instead of arguing for the devise Tony groaned and settled into the couch so that he could watch the movie fully. Considering he hadn't been watching any of the movie so far, it wasn't surprising that he was completely lost as to why everyone was dying.

Tony quietly leaned over to ask Natasha a question, when the man on the screen was electrified. As the man writhed and died on the floor, the question writhed and died in his throat. Tony tried to surreptitiously lean back without anyone noticing, but of course when you are sat next to a super assassin, you can't hide anything. Natasha's clinical green eyes were dragged away from the screen to his slightly dilated brown ones. Almost instantly her eyes widened with understanding, softening for a fraction of a second, before becoming steely, as she turned the TV off, without looking around. Natasha quickly muttered something to Clint, causing the archer to whoop with excitement before running into the kitchen shouting about food.

The others all dutifully followed the Clint, leaving Tony and Natasha alone. "Tony, I'm sorry, we didn't realise-" Natasha began quietly before she was cut off.

"Sorry about what? I'm fine. Now, I heard something about food…" Tony went to get up, but Natasha pulled him back down.

"Tony you don't have to pretend, we all go through it. In fact, with your history of Afghan, you're doing great, but you can always talk to us-"

"What you mean Romanoff, is that you want me to spill my guts to some shady shield agent, so you can go report back to Fury on how messed up I am."

"No! Tony, I'm here as a friend."

"Yea, that's what I thought too, but I haven't told _anyone_ what happened in Afghanistan. Not even Pepper, not _fully_. I mean, who reads up on their _friends_?" Tony said bitterly, feeling gut wrenchingly hollow that she actually knew. _She knows._ Swallowing the bile what was rising in the back of his throat he walked into the kitchen, trying not to see the hurt look on the assassins face.

"Aw come on guys, who let Clint cook, we don't want the hotel to burn down do we?" Tony scorned as he swept into the kitchen, scrunching up his nose as the smell of burnt popcorn.

"Actually, it was Steve cooking, but he doesn't know how to use the microwave." Clint said trying to defend his cooking ego.

"And no one thought to help him?" Tony said, putting new popcorn in the microwave.

"I tried to help him, Friend Anthony, but the contraptions magic wouldn't stop, so the corn kept burning." Thor said, looking like an eager Labrador.

"So you let the Viking god, and the 1940s super soldier, _use a microwave?_" Tony said face palming. "Honestly Bruce. I expected better from you, at least."

"Well, at first I thought that it was a bad idea, but then I thought that they had microwaves in the 1940s so Steve should've been fine, but then he and Thor couldn't work it and I was about to help them when Clint made me a bet- which I won by the way." Bruce said, holding out his hand until Clint gave him ten dollars, making Clint grumble, before the archer grabbed the popcorn and left the room, putting the movie back on without waiting for anyone else.

"Friend Clinton, wait for us, I wish to finish watching this marvellous motion picture too!" Thor boomed, as he walked quickly into the other room.

Steve rolled his eyes and left, quietly talking to Natasha as she walked back with him, Natasha casting Tony a withering glare before she left with Steve.

When it was only Bruce and Tony in the kitchen, the only sound that pierced the comforting silence was the sound of the kettle boiling. Tony sighed leaning back into a chair, the warmth and calm which eventually came when you were around the doctor for a while relaxing him to the point in which he actually had to stifle a yawn.

"If you're really that tired, you should go to bed Tony." The doctor said gently placing a cup of tea in front of Tony.

Stifling another yawn, Tony went to get up. "What? No, I'm fine, not tired, and hey if I go to bed I'll miss the rest of the movie…" Tony said, his argument ending very weakly, considering that the thought of going back in to watch that movie was making him feel ill.

"No Tony, go to bed. I'll stay in here and when they ask tomorrow, I'll say that we were talking for a while, before we both left, okay?"

Gently placing the mug in Tony's hand he pushed him towards the door which would lead to Tony's room. "And Tony, actually get some sleep."

Tony wasn't planning to stay up all night, but he was planning on working on the iron man suit he had designed, for just a little bit longer. Unfortunately he had left the tablet in the other room, so he did fall asleep, if for only a little while.

_The first thing Tony noticed was the cold; it was the kind of cold which seeped into your bones that no amount of clothes could keep away. He tried to call out for Jarvis to turn the heating up, and almost choked on the dirty piece of cloth that was lodged in his mouth. Both his feet and legs were bound on the painful side of tight, but that was nothing to the excruciating pain in his chest. As he came back to his senses every breath felt like fire, the metal in his chest scraping against the bones and flesh that was actually still in his chest. He opened his eyes. Then closed them. All he could see was darkness. It was almost a relief when the mask was lifted from his face, but then he was the dozens of people aiming guns at him. Suddenly the pain in his chest intensified, and he realised that he was screaming into the gag, creating a horribly wet gurgling sound. Pain blossomed in the back of his head, and he dully realised that one of them had hit him with the back of their gun. _

_One moment he was falling towards the floor, the next he was strapped to a chair, his head being forced under the water till the burning in his lungs almost rivalled the pain above his heart. Over and over, till he couldn't keep count any longer. _

_Yinsen. He wasn't following the plan! God no, let him be safe, but there he was, in a pool of his own blood, using his last remaining strength to praise me through his laboured breathing, when I couldn't even save one man's life... He was first of many to die in that hell hole of a cave, in who knows where. He was left in a crumpled heap in the corner, and unless someone had gone to clean the cave up, he would still be laying there, glassy eyes staring at a blood splattered ceiling for eternity._

_He couldn't lose Pepper, he couldn't. Not when life was just getting good. So he grabbed the bomb. I mean, what did it say when he was discarded from the Avengers initiative, "lack of self-preservation." But was it really a lack of self-preservation when he was saving the only person who really mattered to him in the world? He didn't think so. He fell through the hole, or up into the hole, or did it even matter? But he was floating, and it was dark, he didn't think anywhere could be so dark, so void of life. In the distance he saw two worlds explode on impact, scattering rock and heat onto other planets and stars, and above him the rocket kept moving. It was almost sluggish now; tilting as if was going to dive back through the quickly shrinking portal, killing everyone anyway._

_But somehow it managed to carry on moving up, as if Tony's sheer determination to kill the little fuckers was pushing the rocket up. Almost in slow motion a glaringly bright ball of red blossomed outwards from where the rocket hit the spaceship. The ochre's and yellows and oranges claimed the ship, tainting the black sky with wisps of grey. In a twisted sort of way it was exquisitely beautiful, but the oxygen was seeping from his suit, and he couldn't gasp for breath, hadn't been able to breathe heavily since Afghanistan. He was falling again, through the hole, out into the blinding light of earth, gravity pulling him towards the ground at a break-neck speed as the arc reactor failed him._

He hit the ground in a strangled sob. The tangled sheets twisting around his body making him trip as he scrambled to his feet. Stumbling over to the wall he smashed to lights on, making him squint slightly as the room was bathed in the sudden lights. Falling back against the wall he curled in on himself, trying to quench the quaking sobs which rose up from his chest, shaking the arc reactor painfully in his chest. Rising shakily he went over to the table by the window, looking for his StarkPad, before remembering that Clint still had it.

Pulling the curtains back he saw that it was light outside, meaning that almost all of the avengers would be up, and soon they would be coming over. Forcing himself to calm down, Tony walked towards the bathroom door. _This isn't Afghanistan. _He threw the door open with a flick of his wrist, turning the lights on and walking to the mirror. He turned all of the taps on, as hot as they would go and jumped into the shower, a light bark of laughter echoing around the bathroom as he realised that he still had his Hawkeye pyjamas on, the only ones which had been packed in his suitcase. He let the steam build up around him, enveloping him in an opaque mist. The purple fabric stuck to his skin, stopping the scolding water from burning most of his body. Reaching over to the shelf near the top of the shower, he grabbed the nearest shampoo, lathering it in his hair generously before rinsing it out as quickly as he possibly could when the water began to get cold.

"Jarvis, drop the needle." Tony said whipping out his hair products as his favourite ACDC songs began blaring throughout the room.

As always at the end of getting ready in the morning, Tony filled the sink with water. Clean, hot, water, that he would submerge his head in, just because he _could._ But this morning, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find the willpower to do it. Frustrated, Tony threw the hair gel he was holding at the mirror, shattering it into dozens of pieces, before ricocheting off and skidding on the floor, finally rolling to a stop when it hit the shower with a loud clang in the otherwise quiet bathroom.

Slightly embarrassed at his outburst, he stormed out, quickly changing into a pair of dark blue jeans and a long sleeved black Sabbath t-shirt which was at the top of his bag. Looking down he could see the dim blue light of the arc reactor shining through the thin material, but thankfully he didn't have any time to think, because Natasha was falling out of the ceiling.

"Hmm, I don't normally have your type I my bed, especially this early in the morning, but then again there was that girl in Switzerland…" Tony remarked dryly, quickly throwing his wet pyjamas in the bathroom before quietly closing the door.

"Ha-ha, Tony." Natasha said, already walking towards the untidy mess of bags in the corner of the room, as a light sprinkling of plaster settled from where the vent cover had been wrenched open. "The others are going to be here in a sec, so I thought that I would check that you were alright before they all get here."

"But that doesn't explain why you were in the ceiling, Nat." Tony said using the dreaded nickname which always earned him a '_your death is imminent' _look from the redhead, today was no exception.

"Just like you always setting up Jarvis wherever we go, I always check out the vent system." Natasha shot back, finally finding what she was looking for as she threw a sports bag at the genius. "Now come on, we're going to the beach." She said throwing him a sideways glance.

"Great, it's never a real holiday unless you spend a day on the beach."

"So you're okay with going in the water-"

"Okay with what, Natasha, because I don't see what's so daunting about a day on the beach." _Liar_ his inner voice screamed at him.

"We're still here for you Tony." Natasha said quietly, to Tony's retreating form as he walked out of the room, and if she had been anyone else, she would have thought that he hadn't heard her, but of course the super assassin would catch the fraction of a hesitation in the billionaire's steps. What she didn't see, was the flicker of a smile that crossed his face for just a fraction of a second.

Somehow Natasha still managed to get down to the lobby before Tony, smirking slightly when Steve grabbed Tony's bag out of his hand, before Clint held out a cup of coffee, which Tony grabbed before the archer could hand it to him. Before he knew it they were out the door, heading towards a very sleek red sports car. Natasha was once again driving, on account of her owning the car, and everyone else not being "trustworthy" enough to drive it. Everyone else piled in, with Tony in the middle, amused smirk showing from under his sunglasses. "I'm really hoping that one day this holiday that I'm going to be able to have a cup of coffee with doesn't come in a polystyrene cup."

"Of course friend Anthony, we have a whole metal casket of your coffee." Thor said, waking the flask around.

"Thor, coffee isn't Tony's drink, anyone can have it." Bruce tried to explain to the confused god, before Clint butted in.

"Thor, you should drink some." Clint encouraged, throwing packets of sugar into the back of the car.

"Hmmmm, a hyper Thor, are we sure that we have enough energy to cope with this?" Tony said, mostly meaning it as the fatigue settled in from his restless night.

Eventually the god was goaded into taking a sip of the warm liquid, but of course this turned into him drinking the whole flask of coffee, leaving Thor buzzing in his seat like an overexcited child. It was just as well that they had arrived at the beach, since before the car had even stopped Clint and Thor were racing towards the ocean.

Sighing Steve grabbed everything out of the car before heading over to a part of the private beach which was partly obscured by trees, offering a bit of shade in the swelteringly hot day. They had just about got everything set out when Clint and Thor unanimously jumped on Steve from out of the palm tree they were all seated under. Clint threw the water onto Steve, clinging onto his back until Thor could pick him up and race the 20 meters towards the ocean before throwing Steve in.

The duo began running up the beach again, trying to find their next target. Bruce put his hands up in mock surrender and began walking down on his own, muttering something about the other guy not liking to be carried, forcing the Clint to jump back and Thor to clap him on the shoulder with a hearty laugh before they turned to Natasha, only to find that she was already in the water. This left Tony. Turning around they saw Tony sprawled out on a towel, StarkPad in one hand and iron man gauntlet around the other. "I'm busy at the moment children; I'll join you when I'm done."

Tony sighed in relief when he saw they dive bomb into the ocean, detaching the gauntlet so he could fully work on the new iron man suit that was on the StarkPad. He was working for about 20 minutes; before the tablet turned off with no battery left.

Grumbling when the StarkPad refused to turn on at all, Tony hesitantly made his way down to where the others were playing in the ocean. Slipping into the water Tony was relived to find that it was warm enough that goose bumps didn't rise up on his arms.

Wading through the tepid water towards the others, Tony was thankful that he was still over a head above the water.

"Finally decided to join the land of the living then have you?" Clint asked floating over to the still hesitant Tony.

"Well, not by choice. My StarkPad died and I didn't fancy sleeping with you guys so hyper." Tony said waving in the general direction of Thor and Bruce, who were trying to see how long Thor could hold his breath for.

"Well either way you're just in time, we're gunna play water volleyball and we need equal teams."

"Great, who's picking." Tony said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation of getting to win –because whatever team he was on was going to win.

"Thor and Clint are picking" Natasha said smoothly as she tossed the ball at Tony, only explaining with a shrug of her shoulders because of the incredulous looks sent her way from the rest of the team. "No one would play if they were both on the same team."

The two team leaders high-fived as the others all lined up in front of them, having a quick game of rock paper scissors to see who would pick first. Astoundingly, Thor won. Almost without any hesitation he chose Natasha, who smiled smugly as the others all began to put forward their case as to how they were all better than Natasha.

"Wow, how did you guys live with not being picked first." Tony said in amazement to the former 5 foot skinny super-soldier with asthma.

"By getting picked second." Steve smirked, swimming over to Clint.

Tony gaped, in mock horror and indignation, as Thor chose Bruce, leaving him to dejectedly wade over to Clint and Steve. "Never, before have I _ever_ been chosen last. This is a _disgrace _to the Stark family name."

"Well, this can be a learning curve for you." Natasha said unsympathetically, throwing the ball to Clint, saying. "If, you're gunna be stuck with Tony, you should at least get to start."

"Okay, the rules. The first team to get to seven points wins…" Steve began, droning on about the rules until Tony snatched the ball out of Clint's hands, hitting it over to the others to start the game.

The game was fast and furious, with more trash talking than previously thought possible. It was seen as an offense to let the ball touch the water, meaning that over an hour later they were still playing. Both teams were on 6, a fact that irked and pleased the teams in different ways. Natasha was a natural, always scoring and never dropping the ball, but Steve was a super-soldier who never tired, who was also a stickler for the rules. This did eventually help them, when Natasha launched herself off of Thor's shoulders an incredible 8 feet into the air to smash the ball to Clint, who was thrown backwards by the force. This point would have ended the game almost ten minutes ago, but Steve fought the case that they were not allowed to injure people, or climb people, to get the ball, revoking the point back to six all.

Everyone was as tired as hell, so when Clint hit the ball back, he realised too late that it was headed towards Natasha. Almost in slow motion a wicked smile spread across her face as the super assassin aimed the ball at Tony. The billionaire's eyes widened with surprise, backing up as quickly as he could so that he could hit the ball, hopefully winning them the game, when he tripped on a rock. Flailing to keep upright Tony's arms pin wheeled as he tried to find his footing, forcing him to take a few steps backwards. By some stretch of a miracle, his right hand collided with the ball, sending it speeding back to the other team, who were stunned into immobility, till it was too late, leaving them all diving after the ball long after it had hit the water. Steve and Clint were equally surprised, erupting into yells and high-fives at winning the game. Without warning Clint leapt about 4 foot through the water to land on Tony's shoulders piggyback style, the unbalanced weight tipped the rock Tony was still standing on, tumbling them both beneath the waves before either could catch their breath.

Before they had even hit the bottom of the ocean Tony was struggling, clawing and twisting his way through the water, using any method he could think of to try and get Clint off his back, but in his mind, it wasn't Clint on his back. And he wasn't in the clear, tepid oceans off the shores of Brazil with his new friends, but back in Afghanistan. By this time Clint had managed to unhook himself from Tony, and had risen to the surface to a gulp of air, when he realised that Tony was still thrashing below the water. Paling slightly when he realised that the genius wasn't rising anytime soon, he dived back under, franticly straining his eyes for the glow of the arc reactor in the cloudy blue water.

Still thrashing in the water, Tony felt someone wrench his left arm, dragging him through the water until his head broke the surface and he could breathe again, if he didn't begin coughing violently every time he tried to breathe. Once again he was being dragged, feeling as if he was moving through treacle, when he tripped, his right arm was grabbed my another set of arms and he was dragged roughly until he could feel sand under his feet. Stumbling he fell to his knees, where he was pushed onto his back as someone started press with almost unbelievable force on his chest, sending judders through his whole body, even shaking the arc reactor. Without warning there was a burst a water tumbling out of his mouth, leaving his throat raw as he sucked in his first breath in what seemed like ages, banishing the black dots which had begun to appear at the edge of his vision.

He was still lying on his back dazed, when the shouting began. The voices sounded familiar, but he couldn't pinpoint them, with the only thoughts going through his head being to run, before it all started again. Groaning he rolled onto his side, before a pair of hands tried to steady him. _The man he now knew as Yinsen translated what man in the corner said, looking like he was about to throw up as he did so. You don't need to be able to breathe properly to make us our bomb, have you ever thought about what the effects of long term waterboarding could be? And you know this isn't the only thing we can do to persuade you to make us your bomb… you don't need all of your teeth, or your fingers… _

No, he thought, he couldn't let them win. With a strength he didn't know he possessed he punched and kicked at the surrounding bodies, not looking, not caring as he heard a yelp of surprise and pain from one of the people surrounding him. He carried on hitting punching kicking, trying to break free, when a precise jab to his neck had him falling to the floor unconscious.

Natasha quickly moved out of the way as Tony fell to the floor, unconscious. She looked up at the others, who were all looking extremely confused and dazed. Knowing that she only had a small amount of time before Tony would wake up; she tried to explain what had happened with as little detail as possible.

"Flashback"

Clint's hurt look morphed into one of understanding as he glanced up from his hand, which was sprained and lying limply on his knee, with Steve also murmuring "I didn't know."

Thor's sympathetic gaze turned to that of slight curiosity which he tried to bury down, especially when Bruce growled out "He'll tell you if he wants you to know" While simultaneously rubbing his forehead, in a feeble attempt to keep the other guy from making an appearance.

Tony groaned slightly, as a magnificent headache made its self-known as he came back to his senses. Shading his eyes he tried to sit up, only then noticing that the others were all clustered near his feet, horrified looks on all of their faces. It was only when his eyes landed on Steve's bloody nose, and Clint's sprained hand that he remembered what happened. As he quietly tried to scramble away from their pitiful gazes he felt as his he had been doused in freezing water. Ignoring their pleas he threw himself into the iron man suit case that he took everywhere, he launched himself upwards and towards the hotel in the faintest of hopes that he would explode into a ball of fiery metal before he would have to explain what happened on the beach.

It was almost 5 hours later, when dusk had fallen, that Natasha knocked on the ceiling, and taking his silence as permission to enter, fell through onto his bed once again. Quickly getting her bearings she saw that Tony was sitting cationic in a seat by the window, knuckles white as he held onto a beat-up gold iron man mask. Although no fresh tears fell down his face, she could see his eyes were still slightly puffy. Sitting down in the seat opposite, she waited for him to acknowledge her presence, surreptitiously glancing around the room to eye the broken pieces of glass spilling out of the partially open bathroom door and the large dents in the wall near the now deactivated iron man suit. Wincing slightly when she eyed his grazed knuckles she leaned back in her chair, waiting for him to make the first move.

Tony tried to breathe evenly, had been trying to breathe evenly for the past half an hour because he had to breathe evenly, be sarcastic show everyone that he is not weak, that's what he did. But then he'd think back to the beach, and how he'd completely lost it, attacking his friends over a danger that wasn't there, and he'd think of Afghan, and he'd feel like throwing up because he could almost taste, the vile water again, remember the cold seeping into his bones till he thought he would always be shivering, how he felt hollow and useless and defeated and angry with an intensity that scared himself. But then Natasha fell through the roof again, and he knew that even before he opened his mouth that he had failed.

"I'm Iron Man" Tony managed to croak out, without his voice breaking, while still looking at the battered mask in his lap as Natasha sat in the seat opposite him.

"I know" Natasha said quietly.

"I'm not supposed to be weak"

"Having flashbacks don't make you weak, Tony."

"But you and Clint, you guys have been in so many more fights than me, and I don't see you guys having flashbacks over the stupidest of things." Tony's voice cracked.

"That's because we received special help, Tony, and we were prepared before we even set off for the mission. We knew the risks Tony; you were thrown in the beep end without even knowing it existed."

"I deserved it though, it was my fault those bastards even had those weapons, if it wasn't for me Yinsen would still be alive…" Tony choked off, biting the inside of his cheek to try and stop from crying.

Mentally debating with herself, Natasha tried to decide if she had the right to tell him the information, but one look at the genius' face made up her mind for her. "Steve can't stand fireworks, or being cold. Bruce has the enormous green rage monster watching his every move; he can't do anything even potentially dangerous if he doesn't want the other guy to make an appearance. Thor will run after any tall, lanky kid with long black hair, especially if the boy's wearing green, and one time I saw him just staring at his hammer for almost ten minutes, before he finally picked it up. Clint likes being up high, and he doesn't like going anywhere without any weapons now, even today. We both can't stand bonfires, or any large open flames and I always check the escape routes for every building we go into."

She lay out the teams deepest secrets, it was a major security breach, considering Jarvis was probably listening but she couldn't care less, if this is what Tony needs to feel like he deserves his title as an Avenger then she would take the punishments. This time when she looked at his face there was a faint glimmer of hope under the sadness.

"I don't want a shrink; I can't just lay out my secrets to a random stranger, I can't even tell Pepper all that happened." Tony said a conflicted look on his face.

"That's fine Tony-"

"But I wanna get better. I can't just be freezing up in the middle of everyday life or even in battle."

"Try talking to one of us, all of us, we each have our ways of dealing with it I'm sure that it would help." Natasha said, hoping that he would be able to trust them with this. When you battle with people you need to be able to know how they tick, she knew that in some ways they needed to know each better than their own family. They could all understand things that their family never would.

"I guess so, Bruce knows some of it, hell he probably knows most of it by now. I could talk to him properly, I guess but he's not really that sort of doctor, is he?" Tony said smirking slightly as he thought of his science bro, before a flash of uncertainty crossed his features. "I don't have to tell them everything do I? Not at once anyway, or even all together, because I don't know if I would be able to manage that." He said looking up to see Natasha's involuntary smile.

"Of course not, and I wouldn't worry about anyone being a dick about it, because Bruce made it quite clear that the other guy really doesn't like it when things happen that you don't like." She said, really smiling when Tony let out a burst of laughter.

"Yeah that may have something to do with a few of the tests we've been running on the other guy since New York." Tony said sheepishly, walking over to retrieve a new StarkPad, opening the file which contained the new black widow bracelets he had made a week or so ago, explaining to Natasha how they would work and all of the details, convincing her that she needs them.

A few weeks' later Natasha was on her way to breakfast with the team, when on her doorstep lay a small, unmarked box with the new black widow bracelets inside. When she picked then up the refracting light on the inside of the bracelets made he look closer, where she could see the words "Thanks Nat" engraved in the light black metal. She wore them for the rest of the day, and didn't miss the genuine smile Tony tried to hide behind his offensive coffee cup when he saw them, because you can't hide anything from a super assassin.

**Well, I hope you guys like that and that I didn't****make the characters to OOC, so please remember to Review, Favourite and Follow, and thanks for reading!**


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